Relationships go through many phases, and it’s natural for couples to experience ups and downs. However, there are times when the challenges in a relationship become so significant that you find yourself questioning ‘what am I doing here?’ and not sure if you should stay or part ways. If you or your partner are facing this difficult crossroads, discernment counseling may be an option to consider. But how do you know if it’s the right time to seek this type of counseling? This blog will help you identify when it might be time to consider discernment counseling.
- One Partner Is Leaning Toward Separation or Divorce
One of the most common reasons couples consider discernment counseling is when one partner is seriously contemplating separation or divorce, while the other is still committed to the relationship. This imbalance can create tension and uncertainty, making it difficult to move forward together. Discernment counseling provides a space for both partners to explore their feelings and decide whether to work on the relationship or move toward separation in a non-judgmental environment.
The consultation process is such that the therapist will ask questions to asses if either partner has truly made a decision or not, as discernment counseling is not to be used to notify one partner of divorce.
- You’re Stuck in a Cycle of Indecision
If you and your partner have been going back and forth about whether to stay together or part ways, without making any real progress, it might be time to consider discernment counseling. Being stuck in a cycle of indecision can be exhausting and emotionally draining. Discernment counseling is specifically designed to help couples break out of this cycle by providing clarity and helping them make a well-informed decision.
- Traditional Couples Therapy Hasn’t Worked
Sometimes, couples try traditional couples therapy but find that it hasn’t resolved their underlying issues or brought them closer to a decision about their relationship. If you’ve already attempted couples therapy and are still unsure about the future of your relationship, discernment counseling might be the next step. Unlike traditional therapy, which focuses on resolving issues, discernment counseling is about helping you decide whether you want to work to save the relationship, or not.
- You’re Feeling Ambivalent About the Relationship
Ambivalence—feeling torn between wanting to stay and wanting to leave—is a common reason to seek discernment counseling. If you find yourself constantly wavering between these two options, it’s a sign that you may need help clarifying your feelings. In fact, this is the type of situation discernment counseling protocols were written for! Discernment counseling provides a structured environment to explore your ambivalence and gain a deeper understanding of what’s driving it. After understanding more, you have a better chance of being empowered to make the best decision for yourself at that time.
- You’re Facing a Major Decision That Will Impact Your Family
If you’re in a situation where your decision to stay together or separate will significantly impact others, such as children or extended family members, discernment counseling can help you navigate this complex decision. The process allows you to consider the broader implications of your choice and to make a decision that takes into account not only your own needs but also the well-being of your family.
- You Want to Make a Thoughtful, Informed Decision
Making a decision about the future of your relationship is one of the most important choices you’ll ever make. If you want to ensure that your decision is thoughtful, informed, and aligned with your true feelings and values, discernment counseling can be a valuable resource. The process is designed to help you thoroughly explore your options, consider the potential outcomes, and make a decision with confidence.
- You Need Help Understanding Your Partner’s Perspective
In some cases, couples struggle to understand each other’s perspectives, which can make it difficult to reach a decision about the relationship. If you’re having trouble seeing things from your partner’s point of view, or if your partner doesn’t seem to understand your concerns, discernment counseling can help bridge that gap. The therapist facilitates open, honest communication, ensuring that both partners feel heard and understood.
Conclusion
Discernment counseling is a valuable tool for couples who are facing uncertainty about the future of their relationship. If you’re dealing with ambivalence, feeling stuck in indecision, or if one partner is leaning toward separation while the other wants to stay, it might be time to consider this form of counseling. Discernment counseling helps you gain clarity, understand each other’s perspectives, and make a thoughtful, informed decision about whether to work on the relationship or part ways.
If you find yourself at a crossroads in your relationship, don’t hesitate to contact us to start this process towards clarity and peace. It could be the step you need to move forward with confidence and understanding of knowing that you’ve made the best decision for your future.
