Emotionally Focused Therapy 101

After many years of consideration, last year I decided to pull the trigger on my journey to learn emotionally focused therapy or EFT. As marriage and family therapists, we were trained to treat the whole system (family or couple) as the client. This modality stood out because of the versatility, and the way that it allows both therapist and client to work collaboratively towards the client’s goal. EFT was founded by Sue Johnson, with the goal of helping adults create secure attachment bonds with one another. The thought is that the power of emotions can help a client (couple, individual, or family) to change their responses towards each other in key interactions, changing their interactions, or dance with one another. Now, Emotionally focused therapy is used with individuals (EFiT) and families ( EFFT), in addition to couples. It is a very lovely framework, and I am glad to bring these experiences to the therapy room.

Here are some fast facts about EFT or Emotionally Focused Therapy

• According to the APA, it is 75% effective. Couples who complete EFT have a much lesser rate of relapse and learn new effective
• EFT is based on attachment theory. This theory conceptualizes how we connect with attachment figures (parents, caregivers, etc.) from infancy to adulthood. Science tells us that our brains respond to safety in a way that has a major effect on us
• Any breakdown of a close relationship activates “alarm bells” in our brain (in the amygdala) which triggers the flight or fight response. This response is what led to your last argument
• Often, we repeat the same coping patterns that we did in childhood when we feel threatened in our adulthood situations . EFT helps to give those responses new meaning and responses
• EFT can help people change their language in their relationships. This means that the way we conceptualize, speak, and think about our relationships can make or break them. EFT works to create healthy patterns
• The goal of EFT is to deepen connection by reshaping the emotional responses
• There are three stages in EFT: De-escalation, restructuring, and consolidation
• EFT is one of the most empirically validated forms of couples therapy