Understanding Attachment Styles
Have you ever had trouble trusting people or forming close relationships? If so, you may be exhibiting signs of an insecure attachment style. Attachment styles are the ways in which we perceive and behave in our relationships with others. Our attachment styles are...
(Healthy) Goal setting in the New Year
Last year I was featured in an article for Bustle about how reach goals without experiencing burnount. But now It's a new year and time to start fresh. What better way to do that than setting some goals? But how do you set goals that are achievable and realistic? Here...
What are the signs of Anxiety in Teens?
Do you want to know if teen anxiety is normal or not? Having depression and anxiety is quite a normal stress reaction, but sometimes extraordinary struggles in youth can be signs of anxiety in teens. Almost all teenagers go through some anxiety. According to the...
What can Family Therapy do for my Family?
Family therapy is a type of treatment that’s carefully designed and aimed at working through the issues that cause problems in your family. The issues are more than likely affecting your family’s health and functioning. Usually, family therapy may be recommended if...
Signs That We Should Attend Family Therapy
Family therapy can help you identify how one's behaviors impact the family as a whole. It can also help you learn new ways to relate with others, resolve conflicts, and, most importantly, connect. It doesn't end there. Well-structured family therapy can also help you...
Coping with the Stress if You Have to Hide Your Sexuality
Hiding any part of your identity can feel overwhelming. It can make you feel like you have something to be ashamed of, or that there is something “wrong” with you that people won’t accept. If you’re hiding your sexual identity, it’s important to know—first and...
Incredible Benefits Of Marriage Counseling
Are you facing problems in your married life? Don't worry; marriage counseling can help you in this situation. Marriage counseling works to help married couples understand each other, resolve issues, and increase connection in the relationship. Marriage counseling may...
EMDR Is Not Just for PTSD
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing is a treatment solution has been used for decades to help people struggling with symptoms of PTSD. It was first developed as a way to help individuals heal from trauma and to take away some of the fear associated with such...
How To Communicate…When Things Aren’t Going Right
How to Communicate… When things aren’t going right As a couple’s therapist, I often get asked, "what should we do between sessions when things come up?" Of course, the answer to that is very layered, but for the sake of this article, I wanted to help couples who may...
Six Benefits of Marriage Counseling
Are you facing problems in your married life? Don't worry; marriage counseling can help you in this situation. Marriage counseling is significant as it will help couples understand each other, resolve all the issues, and remove all the barriers in their relationship....
Emotionally Focused Therapy 101
After many years of consideration, last year I decided to pull the trigger on my journey to learn emotionally focused therapy or EFT. As marriage and family therapists, we were trained to treat the whole system (family or couple) as the client. This modality stood out...
What To Do When You’re Frustrated With Your Partner?
Many of the couples who come for therapy are fed up with their relationship as it is and are majorly frustrated with their partner. Often they are frustrated due to the relationship is not what they thought it would be. Expectations play a large role in overall...
How to Respond to Negative Stigma About Being a Multicultural Couple
If you’re crazy about your partner, it’s hard to believe that people would disapprove of your relationship. Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for multicultural couples to experience stigmas and even criticism. You might even experience negative remarks from the people...
Validation Matters—Why It’s So Important in Relationships
Everyone wants to feel validated. In life, knowing that your thoughts, opinions, and feelings matter gives you a strong sense of self-worth and lets you know you aren’t alone. In a relationship, validation is even more important. When you’re sharing so much of...
How Premarital Counseling Helps You Establish Rational Goals for Your Marriage
There are so many things couples can gain from premarital counseling. It’s a fantastic way for engaged individuals to improve their communication skills and deal with conflict resolution before the marriage even begins. Premarital counseling will also help you...
What Does Your Attachment Style Say About Your Willingness To Commit?
Your attachment style can impact so many things when it comes to your relationship—including the partner you choose! It can also influence your willingness to commit. There are plenty of “excuses” people give for having commitment issues, and some of them are more...
The Science Behind Mindfulness: How and Why It Works
Mindfulness is a term that seems to get thrown around a lot these days. While that isn’t necessarily a bad thing, considering the benefits, it’s important to know what mindfulness is—and what it isn’t. In its simplest form, mindfulness is a form of meditation,...
Why You Shouldn’t Keep Financial Secrets From Your Partner
Most people would agree that open, honest communication is important in a relationship. However, that doesn’t mean it’s always easy to be honest with your partner about everything. Money is often a source of conflict—and even contention—in relationships. Sometimes,...
Why is Gender-Affirming Care Important?
Gender-affirming care refers to any type of medical or healthcare treatment that supports a nonbinary or transgender individual throughout their transition. It helps to affirm diversity in individual identities and has been shown to substantially boost the mental...
Here’s How POC Can Reach Out for the Support They Need and Deserve
In recent years, more attention has been given to supporting people of color and minority groups across the country. From major organizations like Black Lives Matter to smaller localized initiatives, awareness is growing. However, many POC still face challenges and...
Managing Stress and Anxiety as a POC Living in a White Community
Being a person of color (POC) living in a white community can sometimes feel overwhelming. Even if the community is open, accepting, and kind, there’s no denying some obvious differences and obstacles that you might have to overcome. Then, of course, there’s the...
4 Things You Should Know Before Getting Married
Getting married is a major step in any couple’s life—no one can deny that. But, marriage itself can often be overshadowed by the excitement of an engagement or the business of planning a wedding. If you’re ready to get married to your partner, chances are you know a...
How You Can Make Your Relationships Feel More Fulfilling
Fulfilling relationships require time, effort, and attention. While communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship—romantic or otherwise—there’s more to finding fulfillment from the people in your life than being a good listener. If you feel like your...
What to Do if You Feel Betrayed by Your Partner
Betrayal in a relationship can be crushing. Because strong partnerships are built on trust, even the smallest crack in that foundation can feel like a devastating blow. If you feel betrayed by your partner, you’re probably dealing with an overwhelming rush of...
Should You Attend Couples Therapy? Here’s How To Tell
Couples therapy can be a great way to restore your relationship. Often, couples who are on the verge of calling it quits look at couples therapy as a sort of “last resort”. But, it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, you shouldn’t necessarily wait until your...
4 Benefits of Premarital Counseling
The months leading up to your wedding can be one of the most exciting times of your life. But, with all the planning that needs to be done, it’s not uncommon to put your relationship on the back burner. It probably doesn’t feel like that. You and your partner are...
The Benefits of Working with a Counseling Intern
After years of considering going to therapy (or switching therapists), you decide to work with an intern instead of a fully licensed professional counselor. There’s no need to be nervous—you can absolutely put your mental health in the hands of an intern. These are...
How Individual Therapy Can Help You Overcome Relationship Roadblocks
If you’re dealing with issues in your relationship but you don’t want to call it quits, your first thought might be to attend couples therapy with your partner. That certainly has its place. Couples therapy is a great way to bring you closer and help you resolve some...
Communication 101
Communication is one of those terms that come up often for me, especially when I get an inquiry from a couple. Usually, “communication” is somewhere in the initial email. But what is communication exactly, and why do so many of us have issues with it? The goal of this...
5 Ways To Address Your Partners Passive Aggression
Sometimes, relationships start to break down. It’s not always clear why or easy to pinpoint the exact reason this happens. You may find that you are all of a sudden always bickering with your partner or picking at one another over small things. Some partners even...
Happy Couples Embrace Vulnerability: 6 Tips To Start Opening Up To Each Other
It’s no secret that relationships can be challenging at times. Especially if you struggle to open up and share your feelings with each other. Exposing your vulnerable side leaves many people stressed and overwhelmed. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Curiosity and...
Top 5 Ways to Increase the Bond in Your Relationship
To feel loved is one of the best feelings we will experience in our lives. In addition to that euphoric feeling of love, we hit that sweet spot where we are more connected than ever to our partner. Walking through life closely with someone who loves and appreciates...
5 Ways To Get Your Intimacy On, Again
At the beginning of your relationship, you just can’t seem to get enough of your partner. You want to see them all the time, and they are constantly on your mind. Naturally, romance blossoms, and the level of intimacy is high and effortless. However, as time goes on,...
Is It Gaslighting… or Toxic Positivity?
Recently I was given the wonderful opportunity to write an article on PsychCentral about Stonewalling and Gaslighting. You can read the original article here. I wanted to use this article to shed light on how what we now see talked about as toxic positivity, and how...
Why You Do Not Need Couple’s Therapy
Marriage is a beautiful life-changing event. I’m 100% sure that most people do not enter marriage, suspecting that they will get a divorce. However, according to the CDC, the divorce rate is increasing to about 7 million per year. In our country, we hear about divorce...
Have You Suddenly Lost Your Confidence? Try These Tips to Regain Your Swagger!
A lot of people talk about coping with low self-esteem, but less is said about self-esteem that comes and goes. The truth is, when it comes to self-esteem, most people fit in the middle of the spectrum, feeling fairly self-confident one minute and then anxious the...
DATING WITH SELF ESTEEM
In the immortal words of Jay-z, "Hov’ did that, so hopefully, you won't have to go through that," which is my purpose of writing this post. Let me set the scene: for all intents and purposes, I had a decent upbringing. All in all, I was taught to have standards, and I...
HOW MINDFULNESS CAN HELP YOU TAME YOUR MENTAL HEALTH
Have you heard of the term mindfulness and how it has all-encompassing boons to offer for mental health? Well, mindfulness must be adopted by everyone as it is a holistic practice that can make you self-aware, gratified, and peaceful. Everyone talks about it but what...
How to Begin Healing from Past Relationship Trauma
Experiencing trauma in a relationship can impact your life for years to come. Maybe you had to deal with physical or emotional abuse. Maybe your attachment styles were so different that your partner took advantage of it. Or, perhaps your relationship ended because of...
Facts about pride month
Are you celebrating pride month this year? As you know, we all are different from each other in different ways such as physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually; even our sexual desires are different; few people are homosexual, bisexual which's totally okay. But...
How to Come Out as an LGBTQA Adult
Most of us had a childhood filled with both subtle and overt lessons of how people and things “should” be. Our family, culture, and society expect us to fit into a certain mold and behave a certain way. Because of the type of upbringing that many people experience, it...
5 Ways to Improve Self Esteem When You Have Depression
Low self-esteem can be especially impactful combined with the diagnosis of depression. Issues with self-esteem can affect one's level of depressed mood, at the same time, if one is battling depression, issues with self-worth can come creeping up. Low self-esteem is...
3 Best Ways To Overcome Self-Doubt
They say, "You can't achieve your dreams and the life you really want without believing in yourself." This is not a lie. A person who has no self-doubt will continuously pursue his dreams. On the other hand, a person who has self-doubt will have challenges with living...
Dos and Donts of Dating
Being a Houston-based marriage and family therapist, I specialize in relationships in both a couple and individual setting. One of my favorite things to do is talk to singles about their dating experiences. Dating is another set of relationships that we have with...
How To Tell If EFT Is Right For You
Emotionally focused therapy is a great model because it works for many different populations, including individuals, families, and couples. EFT research says that it is a highly effective model with a 90% success rate. In addition, 75% of couples will move from...
Reasons Why You may not want to Use Your Insurance for Therapy
In the 1960s, mental health care started being a service that insurance would reimburse providers. Back then, it was for psychiatric services. Now, in almost all states, insurance is often used for a majority of mental health services. This benefit can be super...
Five Things that Couples Do Wrong
As a marriage and family therapist, I have seen my fair share of couples. Couples usually seek out therapy when things are beyond what they feel they can handle, and they will seek help from an outside source, such as a therapist or clergy member. Since I have worked...
Boundaries
Boundaries may seem like a scary subject to some, but honestly, it is one of the tools that we need to have healthier relationships. In the visual sense, a boundary signals a new territory that may not be accessible for most people who want to pass through. In life,...
3 Steps to Self-Compassion
“You can be so stupid sometimes.” “Why would he be attracted to YOU?” “You’re just going to screw this up.” These are things you would probably never say to another human being unless you’re a real jerk. But how many of us have that inner critic that says these kinds...
Conquering Self-Doubt
Many people suffer from occasional episodes of self-doubt, but at its worst, it can be devastating. When self-doubt takes hold, it can convince you that there is no point in pursuing your dreams and keep you from experiencing the happiness you deserve in life. When...
How to Boost Your Self-Esteem
What does it mean to have healthy self-esteem? Some people think it means you are okay with how you look. Other people think you must accomplish something big in your life to have good self-esteem. But the reality is, having healthy self-esteem means you like and...
Is Telehealth the Future of Therapy?
Since the COVID-19 pandemic (still can’t believe we are living through a whole ass pandemic), many businesses have had to rely on online methods. In my case as a therapist, it has been over a year since I have seen any clients in person. Telehealth has its risks and...
5 (more) Questions You Should Ask Your Partner (From a Therapists’ Perspective)
In Part One of this series, we outlined five conversation starters or questions that could possibly lead into positive and robust conversations between you and your partner. For this article, we will outline five more that can help you get the communication party...
5 Questions You Should Ask Your Partner (From a Therapists’ Perspective)
Oh, this is going to be good and interactive! As requested (yep, somebody requested lil ole me to write about this), I will give you a list of possible questions to ask your partner. I thought that this was an excellent topic to write about because, as a marriage and...
BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO
“My best advice for moving on in a relationship is you gotta go all the way through it, you know? If you’re not — if you don’t want to let go yet — keep on calling and getting hung up on him. Keep on following him around and getting embarrassed. When you get tired...