Everyone wants to feel validated. In life, knowing that your thoughts, opinions, and feelings matter gives you a strong sense of self-worth and lets you know you aren’t alone.
In a relationship, validation is even more important. When you’re sharing so much of yourself with one person, communicative validation will help to strengthen your bond and intimacy levels.
What does validation look like in a relationship?
At its very core, it’s a communication style. Couples who regularly use validating language are more likely to feel fulfilled within their relationship. On the contrary, when a relationship lacks validation, it also usually lacks effective communication.
Let’s take a closer look at why validation matters so much in relationships, and what you can do to start validating your partner more right away.
Validation is Acceptance
When you’re in a committed relationship, you should be able to feel accepted by your partner at all times.
That doesn’t mean they have to agree with every decision you make (or vice versa). But, if you have a hobby or interest, or even a certain opinion, it should be known that even if they don’t understand it or necessarily agree, they accept you for it.
When you validate someone’s emotions, you’re showing them you care about who they are, as a person. In a relationship, that kind of acceptance helps to strengthen your bond with your partner and allows you to feel more comfortable showing vulnerability.
It Prioritizes the Relationship
There’s no denying we live in a busy world. Between working long hours, trying to maintain a social life, and taking care of kids (if you have them), it’s not uncommon for your relationship to sit on the back burner.
While that doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything wrong, it does often make it easier for communication issues to arise.
When you choose to validate your partner every day, you’re telling them that your relationship matters. It’s a priority. You are willing to put time and effort into it. Letting them know that their thoughts and feelings matter actually tells them they matter, as a person you love.
That conveys a lot without having to say much at all.
Validation Improves Intimacy
When you and your partner feel comfortable enough around each other to share your innermost thoughts and feelings, it can be a natural intimacy booster. Vulnerability is difficult in relationships, especially if you’ve been burned in the past.
Validation from both people involved can make it easier to open up, show more vulnerability, and know you can fully be yourself without judgment. Vulnerability is a key component of intimacy. When your partner accepts and cares for you in your most vulnerable state, you’re going to feel a stronger bond with them.
Intimacy is about so much more than a physical connection. While that can be an important part, it’s the emotional connection that makes physical intimacy so amazing. If you want to bring more intimacy into your relationship, talk to your partner every night before bed. Set aside time solely for conversations about each other’s thoughts and feelings without distractions.
How to Be More Validating
There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to validation. It’s a simple action that requires listening, understanding, and communicating. It’s the dedication to those things that can sometimes be difficult.
Whether you need more validation in your relationship or you know you’re not giving enough to your partner, you can change that immediately. Discuss your needs and give your partner the opportunity to talk about theirs. When you both agree to open up more often and provide assured acceptance, you’ll experience a stronger relationship than before.