Couples therapy can be a great way to restore your relationship. Often, couples who are on the verge of calling it quits look at couples therapy as a sort of “last resort”. But, it doesn’t have to be that way.
In fact, you shouldn’t necessarily wait until your relationship is in shambles to consider couples therapy as an option.
With that being said, it also isn’t the best solution for everyone. Understanding what to expect from this type of therapy and how it can improve your relationship will help you determine if you should attend.
Have you been on the fence about it?
Let’s cover a few ways you can tell if you should attend couples therapy.
You Can’t Communicate Effectively
Communication is one of the key components of any healthy relationship.
If you can’t seem to communicate effectively with your partner, therapy could be just what you need to learn the right skills.
It’s not uncommon for people to have different communication styles. It also doesn’t mean your relationship won’t work if you do. Rather, it means you need to understand your own style as well as your partner’s, so you can figure out how they will work together.
A lack of communication in a relationship can lead to confusion, hurt feelings, and plenty of arguments. That can make things seem worse than they are. By getting to the “root issue” of communication problems, you might find that other struggles in your relationship become less frequent.
You Feel Bored or Indifferent
Remember that “spark” you had when you first started your relationship? Maybe your partner gave you butterflies and they were all you could think about.
There are plenty of jokes and stereotypes about that kind of spark dying down over time, but there’s a difference between settling into a relationship and feeling numb to it.
You don’t necessarily have to experience those butterflies all the time. But, if thinking about your relationship makes you feel indifferent, or you find that you’re bored with it, that’s a sign of a problem. It likely means you’re on a fast track toward giving up, or that you don’t have any “fight” left in you to work things out.
If that’s the case, couples therapy might feel like a last resort. Even if it is, it could be just the thing that helps you discover that spark again.
You Pretend Everything is Okay
Sweeping your issues under the rug is nothing more than a temporary fix.
Unfortunately, it happens all too often for couples who are trying to avoid their problems.
Maybe you just don’t want to argue. Maybe you feel like talking about it will get you nowhere. Whatever the case, pretending everything is okay when it isn’t can never be healthy for your relationship.
If you’re the one sweeping things under the rug and pretending you’re fine, you might eventually grow resentful. Furthermore, your emotions will eventually demand to come through. If you’ve been holding things in for too long, they might be more explosive and angry when they do.
A therapist can help you and your partner to bring any underlying issues to light in a safe and controlled environment. They’ll help you work through them and communicate effectively so you’ll know how to bring things up in the future.
The most important reason to attend couples therapy is that you truly want to. Both you and your partner have to be on board. That doesn’t mean you won’t have hesitations or concerns. But, being open to the ways therapy can change your relationship is important.
If any of these signs fit your relationship, don’t assume that things have to end. If you and your partner really want to make things work, couples therapy can help. Feel free to contact me to set up an appointment.